


Rufus' Wonderland Adventure

by Shellyyum



Series: Final Fantasy VII [2]
Category: Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997)
Genre: Alice in Wonderland References, Alternate Universe - Alice in Wonderland Fusion, Gen, Inspired by Alice in Wonderland, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:54:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24352432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shellyyum/pseuds/Shellyyum
Summary: Rufus Shinra has everything and by chance, he's transported to Wonderland, a land that he's somewhat visited in the past but doesn't remember.
Relationships: Reno/Rufus Shinra, Rufus Shinra & The Turks, Rufus Shinra/Cloud Strife, Rufus Shinra/Tseng
Series: Final Fantasy VII [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1743367
Kudos: 11





	1. Welcome To Wonderland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song title: Welcome to Wonderland from KH1 1.5 HD ReMix OST

**Boring.**

Boring nonsense.

It was always the same yet, stretching a bit, Rufus Shinra tried to put his best face forward as his father constantly talked on about the plans for this 'Neo Midgar' and some other prattle that Rufus couldn't quite stay awake for. God, couldn't this meeting stop already? Though there were other subjects like Avalanche and the war long ago that seemed a bit intriguing although note worthy was the tone that his father constantly droned on in. Being vice meant these ridiculous meetings though if Rufus had his way, these would be abolished with something less foolish, something more impromptu, yet he doubted the sincerity of that wish very much.

If he ever became president.

If and when that occurred.

Then by chance as Rufus glanced up meaningfully, he saw something that startled him but by the way he played it, his father paid no mind and seemed undisturbed talking to the other executives as if Rufus wasn't there at all. Fine by him, actually. Fine by him.

Getting up quietly, he wandered a bit far from the table and away from the dreadful meeting room and into the dimly lit hallway of the Shinra HQ. God, his father was gaudy indeed and lacking in any style but could this change under him? He thought so if given the chance after all the HQ was in his father's image of how the company should be and transforming this unreal and richly place was Rufus' chance to bring in his own personal touch, but now, shaking his head, he casually if now cautiously stepped forward a bit.

"Tseng?" Rufus said in a hushed tone, though the leader of the Turks seemed different but catching only a bit of Tseng, Rufus' movements steadily increased until the hallways blended into each other. Where the hell was Tseng up to and why was he here of all places when they should be in their own department? The Turks by definition did odd jobs if official ones for the company but truth be told, they were Rufus' personal if not closely guarded secret and obeyed him due to their close proximity to the vice presidency. His'.

Coolly collected, the walls began melding into a fantasy he couldn't quite describe and like that, he shut his eyes almost painfully to ease the migraine etching itself on to him. Couldn't this be the end? Couldn't this just worse than his father's pointless meetings?

Why was Tseng running away like that as if in the worst kind of hurry?

Gasping, the sensation felt familiar then not at all.

What was going on?

Rufus felt as if he was falling though the speed was yet to be determined but everything else was, the direction was most certainly down and down he floundered on. What the hell, indeed.

Then the words reverberated in his ears.

"I'm late! I'm late!"

"Tseng, I demand you-"

Then as he graced the ground, he quickly began running if unsure and with the change of scenery before him, he saw that he was alone and Tseng was nowhere to be found yet using some cunning, Rufus noticed two bottles on a table with the words, "Drink me" in the room he entered so unsure of.

Should he consume the liquids? Or one of them?

Should he in this bizarre scenario? Moments by moments quickly fled by as the decision was being made and he stubbornly took one of the bottles and drank it.

"What the-"

Then like that, he began shrinking and shrinking as if his hands didn't tremble very much, there he went and there he stayed before admiring the room that seemed upside down from the top, sideways on the sides as if he couldn't quite reach them or fathom the design of it all.

"Ahhh, you're back, been a long time, Alice."

"That's not my name and I haven't been here-"

Did the door knob just talk? Blinking a few times trying to grasp the situation, he then brought back his composure and decided to play along. Alice was it? Alice? Where had he heard that before?

"Alice, the Red Queen has taken the kingdom and we need you, but of course, you need to go through. Go through, and fight the Red Queen and bring balance-"

"Nonsense. I'll do no such thing. Return me back home-don't you know who I am?"

"Alice, of course."

Alice.

Goddamn.

He was having a fever dream.

He was sick, wasn't he? Though he didn't feel very sick at the time of the meeting though it was always possible to get a fever at his father's meeting. Nothing was out of the ordinary for him. Nothing at all yet, believing more than he should, he was allowed passage even if he didn't quite comprehend it. He guessed that he had to play along and save this 'Wonderland' but what was it anyhow? A place? A moment? Someone else entirely?

Surely, he was undertaking an nonsensical mission but if this was to get him back home, he'd do it.

Goddamn it, he'd do it with style.


	2. Unbreakable Tie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song title: Unbreakable Tie - Persona 2 : INNOCENT SIN PSP OST
> 
> (short chapter unfortunately ;_;)

"You're quite beautiful, Aliceeeee."

Rufus tried to fight back as the completely inebriated (or so Rufus thought) Cloud Strife leaned forward in a not so familiar way that struck a bit odd and too sexual in ways that Rufus tried to push away. The world of Wonderland was indeed wonderfully horrifying, in the fact that he was lost in a maze and now, unsure of where to really go though the door behind him and Cloud now appearing and giving him the kiss that Rufus wasn't aiming for.

"Again, you people keep calling me that-"

"Alice, don't you know that you've come at the wrong time?" Cloud inquired smoking a ring around Rufus' pretty pale and blonde haired face, even if it made no sense but what delusions did? What logic did Wonderland follow?

"Well, whatever it is, I'll vanquish it." Rufus sneered at his own audacity to believe in his own phrasings. "Isn't that what I'm here for?"

"Of course, Alice, of course."

Another ring as Cloud puffed a bit of his stuffed pipe glancing up, his Mako infused eyes no longer there, but a sincerity in them.

"I've always, always tried to be kind to you..."

"You've been worse than kind to me."

"Did you forget who brought you here?"

Tseng.

Was he responsible for this so called heartache known as Wonderland? Why was the leader Turk running away all the time? And why did Rufus see nothing this time? No hair or hide of Tseng, but instead bumping into Cloud and making it worse than awkward between them. His hands steadied and a twist of those same hands as Cloud pressed harder, his lips tighter on ward.

Rufus fell to the kiss.

This wasn't really Cloud.

This wasn't really anything but a fantasy but why would any of that be in his brain? His crazy dreams?

"I didn't, in fact, I wish for-"

Gasping as another kiss befell him and as Cloud spun the vice president and the pressure of it propelled him forward, fingers never truly solidifying anything truly grounded. His hands further and further as trees brushed and pinned him down before allowing their own grasp to release. Release and continue the journey.

What choice did Rufus have here?

What choice did he have more than follow Wonderland's plans?

Almost flying again, almost wishing desperately not to be in no more intimate moments except for now, when his momentum finally paused and he collapsed.The earth was moist and befitting to him immediately, as his fingertips traced the blades of grass casually and as the earth's position changed as he stood, stood tall to reach the sky...and what a terrible sight it had.

"ALICE! Over 'ere!"

Reno?

What shadows laid in this Wonderland? And what the hell would Rufus see more of? Please, no more kissing, as he couldn't quite stomach it anymore. Couldn't quite deal with it.


	3. Hong Kong Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song title: Hong Kong Garden by siouxsie and the banshees

A torrid of emotions swept over Rufus but clutching his inner determination, his steps were heavier and worse off as he saw Reno and ultimately Rude just pouring dotes of tea from fancy kettles all over the table cloth. What could be gained from such frivolity? Was that like his own? Why was this such a mess?

"Alice! Finally you've arrived!" Reno exclaimed pulling the brim of his top hat with a number, a size that Rufus couldn't quite see clearly. But how many times did he'd have to tell these people he wasn't Alice? Or a woman, for that matter?

"What did he miss, you silly Mad Hatter?" Rude asked in a very dull tone as if exasperated by his partner's shenanigans but the tea wasting and party loving Reno Hatter just ate it up so extravagantly. His hat now tipped further off his head.

"Hare, what did you expect? Not this tea time but rather an important message!"

"What message?"

"Yes, that message!" Rude's voice went up a notch but hardly dismissing this particular change, Rufus figured that these may have been the Turks but they weren't his "Turks" and simply took on their likeness but, the question still transposed itself on him. Why him? "Let him read it, hatter."

The note now caught and unfolded from its paper airplane form, and the words so meticulously arranged that Rufus couldn't fault Reno and Rude for discarding it so early.

"What's this supposed to mean? "I'll be waiting"?"

"That's all of the message! Yup yup! Now sit besides us and drink that tea. I think you like sweet tea?"

"No, I shall pass as there is more that I haven't seen..." He hadn't thought of this single sentence in a long time or rather the handwriting but it was indelible. It belonged to the other human that he feigned to forget-his mother.

Yes, he has parents but he only ever knew his father and from recollection, he didn't recall his mother's presence so why would this pop up in this make believe world?

Mother.

He hadn't thought of her in years or in his case, decades, but even so, why was her handwriting so near yet the meaning so far away? He dashed those thoughts aside because today he wouldn't cry. Today, he wouldn't be brought to any sort of sentimentality in any way. Not even his mother's memories could take that from him.

"I guess one cup couldn't be too bad."

"That's the spirit, Alice!"

Indeed.


	4. Story Of A Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song title: historia de un sueno by la oreja de van gogh

After the dining, Rufus had to excuse himself further on but did the memories swell in him worse? He wasn't meant to give into any sentiments even if brought to his knees, even if his mother was brought into the equation yet, he had to be more stoic as ever for Wonderland continued to deceive and receive worse off moments. Was this all forthcoming in his own memories?

The ones he couldn't trust?

Was he being toyed with even if he couldn't grasp the significance of Wonderland and how everyone was connected along with his name being "Alice".

Was there any sort of mirror to this world? To these distortedly grasping emotions? He couldn't see it now express it worse as his heart felt worse as he continued venturing forth but what did it all gain in the end and could this delirium end now?

"STOP RIGHT THERE!"

Commanding a voice, and presence of a man that wouldn't dare cry or bleed, he spun his fingers around the neck of someone blending into the many shadows and gasps in his sight, but the bright blonde hair swayed into a view he couldn't dare reconcile. 

"Elena."

No.

She had a tail and worse off was more feline than he could recall but her black suit glimmered underneath with waves of emerald green and stripes. 

"ALICE! I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D---"

"None of you did, did you? I'm here to, I suppose save you and go home."

Elena the Cheshire cat made a soft purring noise putting a hand against the edges of Rufus' collar before jumping back in a bit of fright. What now? What could it be that startled her so much?

"ALICE, don't you know that the queen is looking for you." 

"I heard."

The note.

Meeting? 

His mother. 

What did it ultimately mean? Would he see her again? Would that be worse than he'd imagine so what could he really say to his fanciful stories? To a woman long dead? At least in his world? 

"Where is this place? Why is she waiting for me?"

His outbursts betrayed the inner workings and heartaches all churning in him, although he knew that he couldn't quite or wouldn't stomach the thought of his mother being a villain when he rarely had any recollection of her as she died a long time ago in very gloomy childhood, but glancing aside from it, he didn't need parents and most certainly a dead one.

Elena gave a half cocked grin before it engulfed itself in the quietest defeat with the awakening of her tears but no sound came out, only the leakage of the damage she was causing. Rain. Her teardrops becoming the rain that began flooding all around him.

"Elena, enough with that." He ordered half aggravated and sympathetic. "Maybe we should go back together?"

"Oh, Alice, if you didn't know," a pause. "she's coming to you."

What!

But he couldn't stop the droplets and the waters ravishing all over him and instead had to let go. 


	5. Way Of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short Chapter

The waters had subsided though drenched, Rufus' slender fingers held the note that no longer was legible but instead filled with fragility. The same that couldn't be said for him, in fact, he was easier to read now as he kept pondering over the note; Although, Elena seemed perplexed now that she had stayed with him through the raving tears, her voice reflected a worse thing-pity and embarrassment.

"I did this didn't I?"

"Yes. Yes, you did. I told you to stop-"

"Alice, please!" She cried grasping onto his sleeve unexpectedly. 

"Don't, Alice me, anymore." He advised though he couldn't be sure if they kept seeing him as a girl named Alice or refused to see the truth, as he was Rufus Shinra, and not some silly frivolous girl but there was more to this wasn't it? Why was his mother's handwriting still bugging him? If this was a dream of sorts, why did his mother come forward like this? No, he'd to allow that to go but what did Elena mean by 'coming to him'? 

He'd go forward first and meet his mother on his own terms.

"Don't be cross with me, please? I didn't mean it!"

"Of course not. I just want to see her."

"The Queen of Hearts?" She tilted her head slightly. 

"Yes. I need a way there."

Elena made a small noise but Rufus decided to actually pay attention to it. 

"I'll have to show you then."

"Can you do that?"

"I can but, I'm afraid that the Queen isn't fond of me at all."

He carefully stashed the note into his pocket before pivoting on his heel, giving Elena all the worth of his time. 

"Then, take me as far as you can."


	6. Dearly Beloved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song title from KH series

Rufus would face this with poise and dignity though he knew the rumors about him-he didn't cry, laugh or bleed, and all of that amused him greatly yet he felt that a change was fine, just not this time. Just not this time but with some recollection, he couldn't place the face of his mother in his consciousness because why would he? She'd been dead a long time. 

A sentiment of melancholy erupted from him and he had to catch his breath but in steady paces behind Elena, so not to drag attention to his difficulty. The very same that kept him him in check but why was tougher than normal? Facing the past was just that. Wonderland or no. Wonderland or no, but what was worse was that they kept calling him Alice, a preferred girl's name although he couldn't help ponder if someone else in his family came here, too? Not his father, the old man, maybe his mother? 

"Can you tell me who-"

"Alice," Elena paused a bit in both walking and talking. "What is your question? I mean, we're almost there!"

"This Red Queen, how did she become a queen of this place?"

"She's always been here but there was a time when there wasn't anything like her here."

"Explain."

"I guess, you could say that she once was alive in that other world and now, she lives here! Isn't that grand?"

Other world? You mean the reality that he came from? Midgar? His mother...though he couldn't gather any memories of her life other than her death when he was 7 or 8, but the funeral afterwards which had his father burying all of his mother, all of it-pictures, video recordings, and mementos into her grave alongside the body. Why the sentimentality suddenly? 

He could ask to clarify on what Elena mentioned but picking up some steps with the now moving the scenery, and it certainly felt unique with bushes of white roses and guards shaped like cards, playing cards in many suits, brushing red paint on those white roses. He didn't dismiss the absurdity of this but accepted it as the new reality around him and however longed he stayed, the more he wasn't shocked but acknowledged the passing of this time.

Did he want to confront that same feeling in him?

"I guess as parting goes, I won't miss you." He said without missing a breath but she simply shrugged it off and continued her very uneven smile.

"Yup! You could say that we've become friends!"

"I don't have friends nor do I make them."

"Oh, phooey. Well, it's time for me to go. Don't allow anyone to trick you here and be careful of the queen's wrath."

"I see."

"I'm serious, Alice." She made a very unprofessional face but none of these characters were any of his Turks, only caricatures of the people he ordered and knew. 

Then by his ear, he heard her voice as it echoed away but slowly his feet crunched onto the finely trimmed grass and he leaned over the white roses that remained uncolored and touched the petals that slowly bloomed. He knew nothing about frivolous things as flowers but he surely understood that they'd die soon. What did his mother teach him about them? What?

Why was that popping into his mind so suddenly?

Surely, he didn't have the time but even so, it was all the melancholic string of fate he so often denied purposely but these were unwanted feelings now. They served him nothing though he couldn't truly ignore it here in Wonderland. It was all magnified.

This was a nightmare.

A very real nightmare.

Just a bit further ...right?


	7. Into A Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song title: into a dream from Kare Kano ost

"Tseng?"

The leader of the Turks' hair swished in the failing winds as again Rufus only caught a peek of the destination and it felt like it was further into the rose garden and nearer still to the Queen, Rufus' mother no doubt, at the very least, could he actually act upon anything but these very unnecessary sentiments haunting him? Swiftly, he ran stumbling for the very first time, now peeved that Tseng would continue this even if Rufus kept recalling memories of other events between them. Passionate and lonely ones. Desirable and free of any claim of ownership, because Rufus no longer owned the growing and swirling emotions he held around Tseng. 

"Hey you!" The card shaped guards yelled, swinging their arms and brandishing their weapons above Rufus' face and like that, he could fight back as he reached back to the gun that was placed in his pocket and him, unconvinced that he had been given a chance, but like that...everything felt so magical as he began shooting away at the bushes and through the guards. Their blood splattered onto the remaining white roses thus becoming the very paint that the guards carried. Was this the red that Rufus had seen? Is that why it dulled on contact with the whiteness? The purity evaporating.

He had been a child then but no more helplessness.

No more childhood Rufus!

No more of the wrecking and bad aching memories of old, none of the dates that he couldn't forget, the same ones that were ingrained forever more. 

The rose garden spread out more until he found a labyrinth worth some kind of praise and worst of all, Tseng was gone and so with any chance to regain some composure or breath to examine the carnage that Rufus, if reluctantly left in his stead, he felt that he could cry but he hadn't done that since he was a child, not even at his mother's funeral so long ago.

"You came."

A sweet voice filled his mind of pulsating energy and with that, pivoting on his heel, he saw the woman that he couldn't believe was here. Couldn't dare to stand up to him, but did regardless with vigor and life-his mother. A kindness of bright blonde and blue eyes and while he caught most of his looks from her, his real traits came from his own ambitious father, the president but now, Rufus didn't deny that his mother wasn't beautiful, if fact, like the depiction of angels that men believed in. The ones of imagination of holy light and godliness. 

"I-"

"Rufus, your promise, you kept it."

"Mother-why did you-?" Finally lost in the labyrinth itself, she had revealed herself forthcoming until he realized that he wasn't entirely lost, but in fact, in the center as his eyes adjusted to the scenario before him. The rose garden complete and unending, everlasting. Was this the place?

Why was it was just red roses?

"I didn't bring you here, you did it yourself. You called forth Wonderland."

"I did not! I do not need you or-"

"Your father. Is that what you will say to me? You're both alike in so many ways, but, I can say that this isn't real at all."

"How can it be?" He asked starting his walk forward, throwing down his gun behind him.

She didn't stir but remained so dignified and so bright, bright and gorgeous but ephemeral, like all life. Ephemeral and now tossing that aside, he wanted answers to why he could call himself to this place, and have the Turks let alone his enemies here like Cloud etc; It was beyond irritating yet her presence soothed him.

"You called for me, don't you know?"

"I didn't-"

"You did. I heard it, Rufus dear, my sweet Rufus." Her voice cooed if trying to ease back into his good graces but everything about this moment felt superficial. Super and majorly superficial but couldn't help but fall into it, that was a weakness he had to break. A weakness that couldn't lead him to be president and that he knew.

That he concentrated on but his heart was still boyish to a fault, impulsive and quite decisive in all its yearnings and for that, he'd love to be held by his mother once again. Caring and tender arms. He was still a bad boy for always seeking love and validation in others' arms let it be the Turks or his enemy Cloud, however contentious that was.

Their kisses.

Their light embraces.

"Then bring me back to the reality I know-"

"I'm no longer in that reality. I died...I know that and left you with your father and for that, I'm sorry."

"Mother, please, no apologies, not for any of it. You couldn't help but get sick, you couldn't help...this is pathetic of me to talk to myself this way. You're not even real. You're dead and I'm alive, and-"

"Who said this wasn't entirely real? That I'm only your imagination?"

"Are you saying otherwise? Why would I call upon you now. I'm grown now, mother."

"You haven't. You're still my son and still so small inside that you have to hurt your father on my behalf. Or maybe yours? I don't know, Rufus dear, but I know this as real for me, as where you come from is for you. Besides, this is my reality, not yours. Wonderland is where I exist at."

"So, Wonderland is where I can come to find you?" 

Tears came at a steady pace for his mother, and her expression seemed to trouble him more than anything, more than being abandoned with his father. And was that her greatest fear of all? 

"You shouldn't dwell on it, my dear."

"Mother-I don't want you to leave again, I don't want to leave here and go back home." His voice shook and for the uttermost present, he was quivering at the thought of the boring business meetings and responsibilities that an heir had. Though her arms were comforting at least, he let himself dwell onto her strength and almost zap it dry; Almost leaving her to die again and it's this that made him realize that he couldn't stay as a boy, any longer and had to grow up, but how long did he stay with her in this pose and when did this happen?

His feet had moved without a thought as her arms had been straight and true, and was so familiar. 

"Now, you have to wake up. You have to and know that I'm always with you."

Was this...someone's doing? What was Wonderland really? Was it a fantastical dream or a hellscape? Or was someone behind this? Was it that ancient girl? Was this the lifestream talking to him through his mother? No, why would these thoughts matter if his mother was indeed speaking with him with some clarity.

"Mother. I never got to say what I wanted to before."

"Don't worry," She pressed her forehead against his, smiling just melancholic until they had to part for real this time. "I'll always love you, always between dreams and reality. Besides, I'm only here because she brought me here to talk to you and for that I am glad."

Aerith!

That damn Ancient, but for once, the meddling was justified and wholeheartedly welcomed.

"So, she's clever, then. Okay, mother, hopefully, we'll meet again, just not soon..."

"Of course, Rufus, when you're ready to join me here."

The lifestream.

This was his dream of the lifestream.

And like that, the release was intense and sorrowful to the extreme but, Rufus couldn't forget about this encounter and wouldn't.


	8. Small of Two Pieces

With her voice still reverberating through the fast winds slapping the very cheeks of Rufus, the sting almost engaging and invigorating, but he had to leave now, and with braced hands lingering no more, she was gone from his sight; But why had Aerith, that damn Ancient meddle in his life? His affairs? Only he should do that but with a change of rhythmic behavior, he slowed almost collapsing down to his knees. 

The same knees that he thought wasn't possible to have but in this state, he realized that he was indeed human and the lingering breath that he once held in, exhaled out and he found that he was beginning to forget her voice before her face. She had been blonde, too, like him but there was a kindness, a tenderness sorely missed that he didn't have with his father. How could he again forget that love of his mother and most importantly, the Ancient's interference in his life, his family.

He couldn't banish his mother from his thoughts, at all.

He couldn't seem to let it fade as if it was a knife was held to his heart, and then like the dawn before him, the very one, this wonderland was for him, and only him. Could he truly go back knowing the coldness of his father and Shinra that awaited him? The shame of knowing all he'd done to usurp his father but with the Turks, it was a million shards of light that embraced him as he slumped against a single tree in a clearing, one he swore he'd been in.

The very familiarity that he held himself in, the one he couldn't stop going towards.

Why did loss feel worse the second time?

She was gone this time at the behest of the reality he believed in, the one he'd return to but how could she be the Queen of Hearts when his was broken all over again? No, sentimentality was for the worse he didn't need in himself, only as a leader did he realize the destiny before him. He'd definitely take over for his father, eventually, either by his own hands or whatever circumstances occurred.

Before the blue of night, the darkest blue that spread across the breadth of the sky and with him, he continued to bask into his own memories. The very ones that he couldn't break from him, nor would want to. 

He wouldn't give into those manic fits of tears he wouldn't shed but why would that Ancient do any of this? Why would she bring him here or was this still his doing? Did his heart long for a past that he no longer recalled? 

The same that he couldn't? 

Jostling a position against the tree, the branches swayed and seeing a tail above, Elena was back and like unlike these different versions of the Turks, she was the least convincing and frank. He deserved that at the most. 

Yanking on that striped tail, his fingers were tickled and even a few stray hairs attached themselves to his sleeves. A token of remembrance. 


	9. Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song title:Moon by Every Little Thing (Japanese band)

Rufus was more than likely not convinced by Elena's loss, but it was beyond his comprehension nor would he dare to responsible, not for her or himself, and that's how it should be but couldn't be. Her tail perked up momentarily after his release but there were more than cracks in her voice that he swore she would start crying and flood the woods again; it was just so damn dreadful but bothered no more, his glassy eyes happened to be less entranced by Elena's appearance, almost allowing normalcy to overtake his senses. 

"I've been here before, haven't I? Why can't you be less frustrating-"

"I can't help it! Listen, I know Alice, that you can't remember us, but we surely missed you. This Wonderland is-"

His doing.

That much of a sentiment settled into his chest, though, Elena this weird Cheshire cat of sorts, wasn't the brightest and he wouldn't let it be anymore daunting that it already was with him wanting to return to his mother's warmth, and maybe, maybe...it wasn't really her? Maybe that Ancient? What connection did she have to this place? No, it was beyond...what was this Wonderland though regardless, he'd have to shelve that lingering and troubling thought. Was this Wonderland his own doing?

"I already know."

Elena let out a small shriek and cupped her hands over his mouth, much to his chagrin yet, after this, the excitement burrowed further into his mind and again, he had to think about it.

"Alice, please be honest, will you go away again? I get lonely-"

"I can't stay...I can't." 

How regrettable but he'd found it already, found the strength to reject all of this nonsense.

"Then, you deserve a gift, a small token not to forget us again..."

"Gift? I don't need that-" His eyes widen at the grasping of a small and glass orb that had Elena shuffling around in her pockets as if grabbing more but what intrigued him more was that he recognized the colors of the orbs. Materia.

**Materia.**

No.

No.

Just no.

Could Wonderland be....the Promised Land that his father all so searched for yet Rufus had discovered it in these dreamlike tears that were covering his cheeks, god, how unlike him to cry, to shed anything but weakness from him but though he couldn't take the orbs with him, he embraced the orbs in closed palms before dropping and shattering them. No. He wouldn't take back any of this to his father nor back to Midgar. The very face of his mother flashed or merely led the tears to silently if halfheartedly feel heavier. The Materia jingled although he could be greedy, surely, he didn't dare for he'd disappoint himself far worse.

Wonderland was The Ancients' Promised Land.

But if Alice was someone...did that mean his mother was here before, then? He'd expect that from his faltering mind. for putting ridiculous and even preposterous ideas in that same thinking but how could he truly accept this gift? This remembrance that he didn't deserve? Is that way Aerith, that damnable meddling Ancient brought his mother back to him? 

"I suppose, Alice, that we knew you'd find us again."

"You mean, the queen, don't you?" He corrected.

Elena began blending to the trunk of the tree, and all the while disappearing instantaneously thus leaving him with nothing more than bewilderment. 


	10. Simple and Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song title: simple and clean by utada

Dreams were certainly intriguing but he couldn't say for certain that he was connected to that Ancient girl Aerith, anymore than Cloud or worse his co terrorists, but known for certain was the riding realization, that Rufus had to leave now.

Had to find his way home through madness and sake of his heart. Why the heart anyhow? Why the momentum of his swinging and abject horror of losing what was his? Could the moments mean more? Just too many things on his mind but why couldn't it be simpler?

Then feeling the worst of, he thought of weeping and was the urge tugging at him, inwardly.

Memories soared as his crystal blue eyes overshadowed the sky above.

_"Mother?" Little Rufus Shinra popped his head from the corner of the door frame and examined the strain of tall, blonde and weedily woman all pregnant with the stains of death in her hollow cheeks._

_"Mon bon! My dearest son-" a cough followed by splattering of tears and blood, only stuttering at the end of her fragile words, but her quiet gestures only beckoned him further and if his steps were louder , she didn't complain._

Why the years of repression finally letting up? Why now? Why was he always told that it was better to be cruel than kind? Did he truly want to go back to idyllic days? With her and a father that cares beyond a further doubt?

Why was he understanding the emotions that washed over his cheeks, the very pale ones that began to show the promise of color. Then without realizing it, the vertigo of the world caused more of those tears, those silent droplets to crescendo down and through the Promised Land. He didn't need it anymore. He didn't need it anymore.

If it was any indication of rejecting it, would he remember it then if he left here? Was the Promised Land a reflection of his heart? Of the desires within? How could he not known all this time? Was there any true face for the Ancient's Promised Land? Or was it just presented here for him now? It was hard to know but the memories of yesteryears haunted him as the droplets of molecules rained harder from his now rosy and scarlet cheeks.

So simple.

So simple.

Like all he knew, the world around him crumbled and he fell back to a slight slumber on his desk, the tears leaking throughout but did it matter?

"M-Mother..."

He'd may never know why he had been summoned there but memories were to be damned if anything. 

So simple.

So simple.

His mother had woken him up and those tears were the start. The very mention of his life told in footsteps he always was trying to make his own. No more. No more.

So simple yet so undeserving and Rufus Shinra, half Ancient knew that. 


End file.
